The first disappointment I can remember came courtesy of Baskin-Robbins when I was about six. I hocked my mom and dad to buy me a double-scoop on a sugar cone. I mean I was relentless. (Wheedling and pleading–just two of the many services I offer, free of charge.) I finally break them down (thus setting the stage for seeing “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” in my early teens.) I get the cone. I’m doing my “two scoops” six-year-old’s victory dance. The ice cream was bubble gum flavor, with real bits of chewing gum in it, which totally ooogs me out now, but whatever, I was six; I still thought my boogers were good. I walk outside into that Texas heat with my hard-won bounty, take one lick…and the whole thing goes kersplat on the sidewalk. And no, the sobbing didn’t soften up my parents. Tough luck, kid. Enjoy that empty cone.
There were other disappointments along the way–most school dances, dorm food, the last two “Matrix” movies, The Cars in concert.
Flash forward to this week. I’m psyched because I’ve finally caught up on all my DVR episodes of “Veronica Mars” and now I’m up to the two-hour season finale. Logan’s in deep doo-doo. Keith’s in deep doo-doo. Veronica’s skating that delicious line between bantering, smart-ass, vulnerable P.I. in the making and possible sociopath. I am primed and ready as I settle in with the hubby on the sofa. Microwave popcorn? Check. Dr. Pepper? Check. Lights set for optimal viewing pleasure? Check. Grab the remote, click on Guide and…it’s not there. The two-hour season finale has pulled a Houdini. It’s just gone. I scroll up and down, up and down (I am of the Never Say Die club–I’d still be scrolling right this minute if my husband hadn’t taken away the remote.) Take a cue from The Zombies, cue music: It’s. Not. There.
But you know what is there? A gazillion episodes of freaking “Pokemon.”
“Pokemon: Emerald.” “Pokemon: Diamond and Pearl” (which I thought was a Prince song, so what do I know). “Pokemon to the Tenth Power.” “Pokemon The Price Is Right.” “Pokemon The Situation Room.” What? Is this show on every hour of the day??? Even Dr. Phil isn’t on that much. (Pokemon: Dr. Phil–“You need to get real, here, Pikachu!” “Pikachu, use electric power!” “Peee-kaaaa-chuuuu!” Okay, I’d pay to see that. And is it just me, or does anyone else want Pokemon to be Jamaican: “You got the power of the Poke, mon. Much respect.”)
Anyway, it’s like that old saying: Bring a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a kid how to program the DVR and HE WILL ERASE YOUR TWO-HOUR SERIES FINALE OF A SHOW YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING SINCE DAY ONE!!!!
Okay, so I guess I need to download it from iTunes and watch it on my laptop. No spoilers, okay?
And I’m happy to see that the third season of Dr. Who starts July 6th. And if anybody replaces it with Pokemon, there will be carnage.