Wanted to write something clever, but I am being forced to help the 4th grader with his math homework, which is like Stevie Wonder helping somebody with a visual field test. I think we established my deficiency in this subject yesterday.
What we have on tap tonight are word problems. Word problems are the work of Satan. I always feel as if I’m being punked by some secret educational tribunal when I try to solve one. “Hey, gang, we gave her the one about the two trains leaving from different stations! I know! This should be rich! Quick, turn on the cameras!”
This particular word problem begins, “Rock bands often stack their speakers in an array. One teen band has 24 speakers. They stack them at least 2 high, but no taller than 8 high. What are all the different arrays they can make?”
This makes me want to hang myself with the blind cords.
How tempting to tell him to write down, “Peaveys or Marshalls? How high can you stack them before jumping off of them would result in an automatic ER visit? How long will Sally’s ears ring if she stands X feet away from the stack? How long will they ring if she stands Y feet from the stack?”
Oh, this is my favorite video clip of the week. I was greatly amused.
And here is today’s quote from TSFT, chosen at random, and involving no speakers:
“We offer more of the apple to Freya, who gobbles it greedily. Kartik strokes her mane and she softens under his touch, nuzzling him with her nose. Around us the night creatures have their say. We are surrounded by a symphony of crickets and frogs. Neither of us feels the need to speak, and I suppose that is one of the qualities I find comforting in Kartik. We can be alone together.”
OFFICIAL TSFT COUNTDOWN: 14 days.