What I Meant to Say Was…

In my zeal to post about music magazines yesterday, I sort of posted without thinking or reading through. Always a bad idea. I left a few things out that might have been helpful for context. (Like the fact that, while I’m sarcastic, I’m not actually abusive toward poor guys shelving magazines. Yikes!) And some of you pointed a few things that I wanted to clarify/think about and respond to. So thanks for that.

Jackee writes:
Oprah Victimizes Us Enough
Good God. They didn’t have enough room or shelf cards. It’s not a strike against women everywhere, nor need the lot of us get out our pitchforks. Plus, I seriously doubt that the poor kid could actually do anything about it. It’s a little bit like yelling at the waiter that your food is cold. OK, you’re ticked, but it’s not his fault.

Jackee, you’re right–that would absolutely be like yelling at the waiter for cold food. (And I’ve waited enough tables to know what that feels like…) I should clarify here that the guy shelving magazines and I SHARED some sarcastic banter about “things men/women like” and where to shelve them. The first thing I said was, “I guess they don’t think women read about Led Zeppelin, huh?” And he laughed and it off and added an eye roll of his own, and THEN I rolled with my sarcastic comment, but–and here’s where print is tricky–it’s hard here to communicate my tone, which was one of raised eyebrow, “we’re in this together, bucko” and not “I hate you so hard right now.” Still, let this be an important lesson to me about the need to tell the whole story before I randomly post. I am a-schooled. *grins*
As for the “not a strike against women everywhere” “no need for the pitchforks” please see the comment below.

The always thought-provoking heidithegreat writes:
LITERAL M A D MAGAZINES
Aww don’t take it so hard, Miss Bray! It is a pretty stupid set up, yes, but it could be worse. Like you, I don’t get it either. Maybe I want to bake cookies AND ride a harley while getting some mad ink done and rocking out to Janis Joplin or Zep! Labels are confusing and for that reason many people take offense to them. Certainly it does boil things down to its simplest (and usually inaccurate) form but let’s be honest here. Does it -really- matter? I mean, I’m all for gender equality but I think that you’re already doing more for that with your writing and your talks than you would be nitpicking over magazines. I’m not criticizing, mind you. I just think that when it comes to the big picture, our actions speak louder than words. We all excel in something or other and by doing that and doing it well, you can kick ten times more ass than doing anything else. Oh I know that words are worth their weight in gold. Authors especially are very hyperaware of the impact words have but even so…Let it go. *grins* There are a million and one ways to turn the tables and you’re already doing that. You guys want women power? You guys want to see what STRONG women are like? Male dominated fields are being invaded by women who can hold thier own. THAT’S girl power for you right there. Libba, you kick so much more ass than those cheezo tabs. That’s a fact.

Well said, Heidi–and thanks for the compliment. *blushes* And there have been plenty of times where I thought, Hey, what’s the big deal? You’re taking away from the bigger issues with your petty, “Let’s shave our legs/Let’s not shave our legs!” debate. I totally get that.

But here’s where I’m coming from on this issue. You are 100% right–this is a drop in the bucket compared to being a Saudi Arabian rape victim and receiving a prison sentence and 200 lashes for your “crime.” (Feel free to Google that.) BUT…(to quote Pee-Wee Herman, “Oh, everybody’s always got such a big but!”) those “drops” in the bucket over time are like erosion on the self-esteem, whether it’s subtle forms of sexism or racism. And so I think what I’m saying (trying to gather my thoughts here) is that we should fight for the big things but be aware of the small things. Do what you can to change the perspective. With the small things sometimes it’s just a matter of saying, simply, “Hey, I was wondering…” Sometimes these small changes can, over time, yield large results. Only I know you can say it a lot better and less jerky than I sometimes do, ’cause, you know, you’re cool like that. 🙂

One of the things I love about this blog is that y’all will come and say whatever you need to say, whether it’s “I agree with you and here’s why…” or “I disagree with you and here’s why…” or even “Oh, for Pete’s sake, Libba, stop being such an asshole. Sheesh!” It’s great and it keeps me honest. So I hope you will always come and post your thoughts, feelings, opinions and know that they matter. And as always, thanks for the music suggestions. You rock.

Rumor control dept:
Someone asked if it’s true that Rachel Hurd-Wood has been cast as Gemma. (It’s “rumored” on imdb.) The last time I spoke with my film agent, there wasn’t even a finished script, and now that the WGA is on strike (Go, Writers!) there won’t be a finished script until that is resolved. So, take any rumors with a grain (or a whole shaker) of salt. I promise I’ll keep you in the loop as much as I am kept in the loop.

Weird but true dept:
This morning, as I was walking to Dunkin’ Donuts for the boy and his buddy who slept over, I saw the B77 bus idling at its stop outside the RiteAid. The driver was sliding back and forth on the sidewalk, busting out his best dance moves, circa 1978. His shirt was unbuttoned and his tie was shoved into his back pocket where it hung down like Eeyore’s tail. And he was squawking like a chicken. I swear. Squawking like a chicken and giving out an occasional yawp. He was the happiest man in Brooklyn at 7:00 a.m. Just grinning like the whole world lived inside him. And I thought, Wherever he stopped for coffee should be my next destination. It made me smile. I love this town.

Last thing and then I am going to shut up and get back to laundry and writing.
Has anyone seen the Sweeney Todd trailer online? O.M.G. I cannot WAIT for this movie! My favorite musical! Johnny Depp! Stephen Sondheim! Tim Burton! Heaven.

Hope you see dancing bus drivers today and that it fills you with weird joy.

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